Maybe I shouldn’t blame so much on my hormones. I am being assaulted by something without a doubt. But my over-discussed cycling? I think not. Here I sit with my feelings burning inside and no understanding of what to do with the little buggers.
I know what I want like never before… boy do I know. I feel it every moment - every song, every kiss on television, every special occasion on its way. Each thought gives me that Secret smile… a rush of promise. I don’t behave the same but nothing has changed. My heart is not so fearful but nothing has changed. I am restless and wanting to put this new energy and these new lessons to use.
Inside my heart there’s an empty room, it’s waiting for lightning, it’s waiting for you, and I am wanting, and I am needing you here, inside the absence of fear
When I was 16 I fell in love with a boy [name removed by request]. He was a hairdresser who was best friends with my best friends boyfriend… you know how this story goes. I met him for one night only and he changed my life (as it was at that time). I loved him with the strength that only a desperately sad teenage girl can. Every night I cried myself to sleep for this boy who I had made into everything I would ever need to fill up every hole, heal every bit of pain. I listened to ‘One more time’ by The Cure over and over again. I loved him for years… with no real idea of who he really was. He was ‘The One’. That’s all I needed to know.
I’d love to touch the sky tonight
I’d love to touch the sky
So take me in your arms
And lift me like a child
And hold me up so high
And never let me go
Take me
Take me in your arms tonight
Hold me
Hold me up so high
And never let me down
Hold me
Hold me up so high
To touch the sky
Just one more time
Take me in your arms tonight
Take me in your arms
Just one more time
Just one more time
Just one more time
It was FANTASTIC. For some reason, being miserable is great when you are a teenager. That level of angst is what makes every chick flick what it is. I am willing to bet we have all had that sort of experience when we are growing up. But when you are an adult the power of those memories can really mess with your head.
Very few people in life have taken my breath away like that boy did. When I feel that way now I know my life is about to get awfully difficult. And yet I want it real bad…