I have been really hurt and let down. So what does that leave me with to offer someone in the ‘orrible “R” word? I am not quite sure where one finds the sort of guy who will just love the jealous, insecure and feisty person I am. See, I don’t want him to endure all these failings, I actually want him to love these things about me. I want him to have had really boring women who never giggle and never spit the dummy and never have too much wine and then want to snog like a teenager.
See, in my ideal world, after I have got all moody because he held some stupid blonde womans gaze for a second too long, he will smile at me ever so lovingly, tell me how much he loves me, how really fabulous I look, and that he was only staring at the piece of spinach stuck in her teeth. These things will be endearing and all “part of what I luff about her”. Then I can laugh at myself and mumble something along the lines of “erm..sorry for being a pratt” and we will snog like teenagers. He will then point out how really cool I am.
And when I hunt down his every move since 1994 on the internet he will shake his head and love how mental I am because it makes him laugh.
He is also gunna have to be really keen on me. I don’t mean to, but when I have fallen for someone and they show any interest in me I bolt - that’s even if I notice they are liking me back which I often miss. So in other words he will have to be very brave and a bit mental too. Ok, probably quite a lot mental.
I guess I am sick of trying to be good enough for someone and just wanna be fabulously flawed. Not only that, I think it is only fair that I be aggressively pursued and after that I want to totally exceed expectations.
I think we can safely say I am going to be single for a very very long time…