My friend, confidant and general brightener of days, killed himself a month ago. I really miss him and I wish he had known before he died how deeply people would feel if he was gone.
I’ll just put the words I said at his funeral here and leave it be.
It took me some time to work out what to wear today. I wanted to get it right. My friend Arron was very clear in his mind how one should dress if one wanted to be a lady.
While I really did try, there were many times I missed the mark. Luckily I had Arron to provide me with some gentle guidance. On one such occasion, I had decided to get creative with my hair and let it curl out naturally in a big ponytail at the back. The response to the resulting disaster?
“Good God Jo Jo, do you know a possum has gone and died on your head?”
As I looked across the tearoom, I was confronted with the quintessential Arron grin. Annoyingly endearing… something I would say everyone here can immediately bring to mind in a flash.
Another time I was careless enough to consider adding trousers to my wardrobe. But this is not what ladies do! Upon seeing me, Arron stopped short. With furrowed brow and a sad shake of the head, he simply said…
“No… Jo Jo doesn’t wear pants”.
And that was that.
But all was forgiven when I got it right.
“Very nice Jo Jo. Well done”.
While he may have struggled to keep me safe from the fashion faux pas, Arron was the most loyal and fierce protector a friend could have. Never one to try and keep a foot in both camps, he would tell you exactly what he thought—repeatedly if he thought you missed it the first time.
So I always knew exactly where I stood.
I always knew exactly how much he cared.
I always knew he would be there at a moments notice if I needed him.
Could you ask any more of a friend?
It actually took some doing to befriend Arron. His walls were pretty high when I met him in 2006. Eventually I wore him down though, working sneakily on on his weakest spots…
His love of gaming.
His love of 80’s music.
Obviously his love of tequila.
And then the most evil of my ploys—his love of chocolate mousse!
Food played a big part in our friendship. We bonded over chips and aioli at the Celtic Inn, Friday night takeaways, Sunday roasts (though this was really just a plate of chicken since he refused to eat veges), many champagne breakfasts, and of course, our monthly delight “Cake Friday”.
I say food played a big part, but really it was only ever an excuse to do what Arron loved most—spending time with his peeps.
More recently, after leaving Massey, the time I got to spend with him were afternoons at the pub every few weeks. They were precious times for me, sharing gossip, righting the world’s injustices and generally just talking bollocks.
We’re due to meet again next week.
Arron I have so much to tell you. You’ll never believe any of it! The “DVC Operations and Global Engagement” himself came down to Student Admin in your honour!
Arron would be right chuffed with that.
The last time we met, when we said goodbye, carried away by a bit of girlie enthusiasm (and probably a wine or two) I wrestled him into a bigger hug than usual and said “Argh, I so love our time together.”
So I think that’s the best point for me to finish on today—the last words I said to him.
Arron my friend, I have so loved our time together.