I guess it is the hormones talking through my heart tonight but I am wanting - wanting, craving, needing and yearning. With peace, I have found myself going through a strange kind of withdrawal - an addiction unsatisfied… a need for a story, a miracle, a cause.
My nights are filled with dreams that bemuse, confuse and amuse. Have I been so tied to thought that I need to manufacture drama just to stay interested? Oh my dear mind - I both love and despise you.
I am tired of who I have become. I want to go back to playful times, sexy times… times when I was wanted, needed and desired. It has been a few years since I felt deserving enough to entice love with a smile. It has been a few years since it was worth dressing up. It has been a few years since I felt like the only one who mattered.
What can hold me up when I am tired and sad? How can one politely tell ones own brain to fuck off and leave things be for a little while?