This week has been crap. Luckily for me, all the people I adore in my life are ever so special to me because it doesn’t occur to them to tell me to look on the bright side. There is absolutely nothing worse than somebody encouraging you to see brightness when you are in the middle of a comfortable dark patch.
So now my blog entry will cryptically consider the nature of forgiveness.
What does forgiveness mean…? If someone has wronged you, betrayed you, pissed you off, then where do you begin and what are you trying to achieve by forgiving them? My thoughts are all over the place with this one.
I am kinda freaked out that there is actually a wiki on forgiveness but it offers this definition:
Forgiveness it is the mental, emotional and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment or anger against another person for a perceived offence, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.
Oh I don’t like this one bit. Forgiveness means we have to stop feeling resentment or anger? Anger is quite an easy one to tame I feel. But resentment?? We have been lifelong friends and I am in no mood to give up my resentment.
Ah, but I guess the get-out-of-jail-free card is the or that puts the odds rather more in my favour. This surely means I can quite happily forgive someone by simply not being angry anymore and still nurse my resentment until that stupid bastard breathes his last breath and rots in hell1. Oh yes, much better…
I am also very pleased to note the or nestled conveniently next to mistake and ceasing which also appears to give the permission I need to get out of giving up my demand for punishment or restitution.
Looking on the bright side <ahem> my wee one is learning to blow up a balloon and my bigger one is going on her first long journey on a bus without her Mummy and extremely excited about her new independent tweeny years.
1Does not represent any persons living or dead (preferably dead...really, really fucking dead, the stupid son of a...)